Learning To Talk Poem by Vijay Jacob

I was born, grew up and now suddenly my childhood seems to have gone,
between work, work and work I find myself self rather torn,
but as I carry myself to work everyday I can’t really help myself to stop, think for a second and find myself say,
when did you grow up, learn to walk and learn to play,
or have you just been brought up in a certain way,
where it didn’t matter what you did each day,
but as long as you did only what your parents had to say.

Where did you first walk, when did you fall, did they even remember the first word, when you started to talk,
did you have any toys, did you play with boys, or were you just a little loner, oh! did you eat any chalk?

Now that I’ve grown,
and my childhood, like the leaves have all blown
though I sometimes regret, I believe I move on with all that I’ve been shown.
And since the time I was born, regardless to say,
the only people I know, that never went away,
who were always were with me, and told me their points,
about why I shouldn’t drink booze and roll joints,
and who woke me up the next day to ask,
whether I had to get to work, whether I had an allocated task.
For the times that we’ve shared, both good and bad,
I can say that I’ve never ever dared
to try and let them know what I feel…
that I wish I could just sit with them and settle the deal.

They taught me to walk, then taught me to run,
they did all that they could, to make sure my childhood was fun.
But why is it that, when I have something that has to be said
my tongue disappears and I find myself fighting back tears
after all those years, why can’t I overcome my fears?
or is it the respect for the people that are dear
but whatever the case I find it a knock,
to know that after twenty years of living, I’m still learning to talk!

Now I’m thinking of moving away,
get a house enough to make a comfortable stay.
But I can’t help but wonder if life would still be alright,
without a mothers hand to tuck you, into bed at night.
But now that I’m older, and I’m learning to survive,
the only regret I have, is that I haven’t yet told her
about how much I miss the times,
when she used to draw the lines in my book,
while also having to cook.
And control herself at school,
when all the teachers used to tell her that her son was a fool.
For teaching me that Dettol burns,
when you try and get off the cycle while maneuvering turns.

They taught me to walk, then taught me to run
they did all that they could, to make sure my childhood was fun.
But why is it that, when I have something that has to be said
my tongue disappears and I find myself fighting back tears,
after all those years, why can’t I overcome my fears?
Or is it the respect for the people that are dear
but whatever the case I find it a knock,
to know that after twenty years of living, I’m still learning to talk!

For the times where I knew,
I was in trouble, and the friends around were few
When I needed a decision to know, why all my savings don’t show.
And when I had bills to pay, and didn’t know what to say.
Your money isn’t here, said the computer screen glare
And I could really do much than stare…
then dad came by, and I was glad he was there.
He’d offer to help, despite the lectures he told,
and after all the bills were paid, he would stand there and scold.
But now when I’m out on my own, having to pay for my phone,
I stand in awe of his wisdom, despite wanting my freedom.
I know that I can never be like him, though I may try really hard,
cos the ways that I hurt him, and left his life really scarred.
To accept all of that, and learn to take it in my stride,
would be something that goes against all my pride.

They taught me to walk, then taught me to run,
they did all that they could, to make sure my childhood was fun.
But why is it that, when I have something that has to be said
my tongue disappears and I find myself fighting back tears,
after all those years, why can’t I overcome my fears?
Or is it the respect for the people that are dear
but whatever the case I find it a knock,
to know that after twenty years of living, I’m still learning to talk!