Lizbeth Muses 1961 Poem by Terry Collett

Benny is
looking over
at me from
the boy's playground
he's with another boy
the boy points
in my direction.

I am with a girl
from class
talking about
her mother's illness
and being sick.

I wonder
what Benedict
and the boy
are talking about
me I expect.

I don't know
the other boy
by name
but I know
he often
leers at me
when we pass
in the passageway
from one classroom
to another.

I wish Benny
would have had
sex with me.

That time
in my room
but he wouldn't
not even there
and me
almost naked
and bare.

That girl Jane
he sees
is a virgin queen
she was shocked
about me
trying to get Benny
to have sex
in that pew
in the small church.

She went red
but he wouldn't
and it was
a wasted day.

The girl talks on
about her mother
maybe cancer.

I wonder if he
will weaken
will falter
and have
sex with me
in church
behind the altar.

I wave to him
and he waves back
and other boy
stares across
then walks away.

I will have Benny
I am sure
one day.