Lost Love And Missed Opportunities Poem by Richard Ford Bunuel Whale Carnegie Edison Simon Hitchcock Welles Christ Antunes Rodriguez Kubrick

I wish i still looked young...
back when i was lovelorn in seeing
you everyday and not capable to speak
to you face to face...

as a direct eye to eye and heart to heart break
longings that sadly were never consummated
between the two of us
while i would have much prefered an absolute mutual love

without the heart break's cold-empty-hollow..
a mental block of a wall kept within a soul
in lingering numbneess while gradually built up
inside my mind over a span of a lifetime

met and consumed with a traumatic childhood
that began with daily molestations that imprisoned me
in silent speak as my eyes conveyed pain and suffering
heard only inside myself as an echo

reverberating off the inner linings of my mind
while later divided in a confined space within
a conflict lasting far too long in countless delay
consisting of cowardice and retreat

from the numerous hesitations that resulted
in prolonging the heart break and misery
that my mind had in sabotaging every chance
and occurence we could have had shared

together inside a home away from the outward world
that judge and misunderstand
why i'm kept in a self imposed agony
not of my choosing as I remind myself

how closed the window of opportunity we had
back in high school was when we graduated
as we lived in such close proximity to each other's home
toward an approximate love we could have shared

and met in creating a memory's reach
as expansive beyond comprehension
as I am crippled within all four chambers
of my vacant heart in waiting for the love

to come to me...to find me... to hold me... the real me...
to marry me... hoping to one day reunite
at a home of peace and in bliss mutually felt
as united as two in need to save each other

in comfort with a good cry
to cleanse and decimate the walls
that shackle me from everyone outside
the inside of my being