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(2/2/1996 / Ontario, California)

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Love, what have you done?

what happened to the man i glimpsed
no more than a year ago?
does he still breathe beneath the boy
who i have come to know?

how is it that i hold you in my arms,
press our bodies close,
and still i feel as if one of us
may well be a ghost.

you have left me and chained
me to this shadow
of the man i loved!

he traps me, wrap me up
as if to embrace
and i tense, always
you made my heart race
but now it is panic
that shivers down my spine

your lips on mine
might as well be ice
for the words they speak
leave me hollow and hurting

your promises kill, love.
our conversations loop and rerun
some are misscarraiges-
dying before they have a chance to begin

the man whose strong arms kept me warm,
can they be the same that envelope me know?
the voice that agitates with its persistence,
can it be the same i heard in dreams?
the intellect that appealed to my own,
can it be buried behind those blinded eyes?

i could not stand to hate you
cannot step to leave you,
but love, if you loosen your hold,
ill surely drift away on the wind.

and i cannot say which fate is preferable;
drifting off or struggling to stay?

Submitted: Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Edited: Sunday, August 19, 2012


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