Blood drips from my veins
Dark cloud suddenly rains
Feeling my body drain
Helpless & searing with pain
I found myself smiling
At the thought of nearly dying
Finally facing my fears
Which also brought me to tears
What was it with me?
That he could never love me
Was it too much?
To ask for such?
Cherished memories that I always remember
Accepting the fact that it’s all over
Can’t do anything about it anymore
And it's hurting me deep down to the core
Loving him made me feel so happy
And the only thing that also killed me
a very nice introspective poem..well written/rhymes..wonderful..A10 keep on writing... Ency Bearis
This is a very detailed portrayal of a heartbroken lover's thoughts. I liked your rhyme scheme and the ending 'Loving him made me feel so happy And the only thing that also killed me', showing both sides of love. Intense poem, but the last several lines change rhythm abruptly and affects the flow preceding them. Good combination of emotion, imagery, and rhyme here.
a very sad but interesting poem... nice... keep writing Athena *** words will change the world ***
wow. awesome job. i love it. i like how you rhymed every line. great job.
Of course, she isn’t happy w/ the thought of killing herself. And just because someone’s smiling, doesn’t mean she’s happy. There are diff. kinds of smiles..happy, sad, bitter..duh.
a beautiful write about an emotion few feel and admit too. great.
It would have been fine but for two lines: I found myself smiling At the thought of nearly dying This seemed more like an attempt to keep a fluid rhyme scheme than to enrich the poem. I don't think humans do that, even the really depressed ones. They aren't happy with the thought of killing themselves, they simply cannot find another way out of their sad little lives. I shall give it-well I would give it a 7.5, but I can't, so I will give you a 7.
wow that was so sad but also very beuatiful amazing job keep it up
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
i love this piece right here i actually just shared it wit my friend