Ma, Send Grandma Back Where She Came From Poem by Raj Arumugam

Mummy
I think you should send Grandma back
to where she came from;
she comes into my room
stares about, and she says:
'Decadent! Decadent! Decadent! '
And then she mutters:
'Never had such things in my day! '
Ma - it's a good idea to send her back
to where she came from, I think
And when no one is home
but me and Grandma
she puts plastic flowers in her hair
and dances all round with her song:
'This eve is my wedding;
this eve am I the bride
And I've me the handsomest man
in all of the land'
She hid my shoes the other day
and she grinned when I found them under her bed;
when you are not looking
she swipes her hands over a pretend iPad
and sticks her tongue out, and pops her eyes out
and whispers to me:
'That's how you look, dearie dear;
like the village idiot in days of old'
She says I dress too short;
I should wear skirts right down to the toes
Grandma stood over my bed
yesterday morning
and she said I was sleeping late, too long;
and she copycats me eating, and she says:
'You are at a sumptuous table
but you eat like the poor'
And she pretends to kiss me goodnight
and she whispers her secret curse:
'Girls who don't wash their toes,
they don't go to Heaven
You might wake up in the morning
and find yourself walking
on the hot coals of Hell'
Mummy, please
I think you should send Grandma back
to where she came from