! Mariah Carey's Hideous Secret Poem by Michael Shepherd

Now promise you won’t tell anyone
(though what’s the fun of having a secret
if you can’t tell anyone? …)
Mariah Carey
was never a member of the
Mickey Mouse Club
when young, er, younger…

to which

some will say, wow, don’t you know a lot.
some will say, who’s Mariah Carey?
or, who the chic black rock chick cares…
or, smartipantsly, well you could guess couldn’t you.
or just, cool -
…and go on with what they’re doing.
or, didn’t know you had pub quizzes at your local.
or, good for her.
or dead straight like, I didn’t know it was still running,
I remember I was a member of…etc.

or something Village Jewish and TV-scripwriterly like
and were you still dressed when she whispered that?

while LA insiders say, silly girl,
all the big agents say
sign up for Mickey whatever your age
before you audition for Disney Corp's
music side

or it's something deadpan and very NY so you don’t know whether
it’s a joke or not, like
is product placement in poetry a growing market?

or give you that look that they’ve perfected
for sad losers and say
get a life man
it’s a poetry site and you spend your time
on that Minnie-quiz ha ha
how long did it take you to get that one right anyway
when you don’t even know the names of the other three