Beneath my mask hides my pain.
Hides my imperfections,
My insecurities, all my flaws.
Beneath my mask hides my scars.
Hides the self hatred,
My weaknesses, my secret addictions.
My mask is a grin, a smile, a joke.
My mask tricks you into believing I'm fine,
When I wish to just die.
My mask suffocates me.
It makes me look stronger,
When I'm the weakest.
It's a terrible charade.
It's a terrible lie,
But it makes you feel better.
I try to keep it on but it cracks,
Showing the true me,
And I rush to find glue.
I always thought that I was stronger.
But in reality I can barely breath.
The little demons are always finding a way in.
I wonder why they chose me as their prey,
Instead of someone else?
They constantly whisper hurtful things,
And claw their way to me in my sleep.
I am a victim of self hatred.
Never skinny enough,
Smart enough, funny enough
Or strong enough.
I'm tired of fighting this war.
Mary Gilliam's Other Poems
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(31 October 1795 – 23 February 1821)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
(10 December 1830 – 15 May 1886)
(12 July 1904 – 23 September 1973)
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
William Ernest Henley
(1849 - 1902)
(16 August 1920 – 9 March 1994)
(30 December 1865 – 18 January 1936)
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