rain in my head
seep out my eyes
drain from my heart,
now i do part
forgetting is dead
on flow thrives
muscled in by layers-
voiced with slayers
idled upon energy's thread
cuckoo'd from its tide
familied by a brand-
freezes hour's sand
sear'd till widespread
my marrow to fry
murdered by ghost
living now as their host
I like the format and rhymes. You employed a lot of good imagery. The 1st,2nd, and 4th stanzas read very well, but the 3rd stanza does not match the rhythm of the other stanzas with too many syllables. I find it her to make sense of “familied by a brand- freezes hour's sand”. You have some good ideas.
The almost syncopated rhythm of the lines perfectly captures a 'memory meltdown' where the head is filled with chatter. Some strong images, evocative but sad.
nice memories of your. i like the selection of your words. well done.
an introspective write deeply expressed..written well to a great poem...excellent A 10... Ency Bearis
I surely agree that is the effect of painful memories which haunt the existence of a human. Powerful emotions are displayed very nicely in this poem of yours.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Hi Alone, As much as this poem is sad as much as it is so lovely and well written, I loved it much cause i felt each word by the perfect way of expressing. well done R.T