C.J. Heck

Rookie - 3 Points (August 10 / Born in Columbus OH - living in Florida)

Missing Him... - Poem by C.J. Heck

Whisker droppings in the sink,
moustache trimmed just so.
Spots of water on the mirror,
always in a rush to go.

Lazy bubbles on the shower door,
toothpaste squeezed in the middle.
Trash bags waiting by the door,
clothes picked up, just a little.

Seat left up on the toilet
like a dragon waiting to bite.
Remembering is bittersweet,
little flaws have become giant sighs.


Comments about Missing Him... by C.J. Heck

  • Rookie Shannon Chapel (12/9/2005 12:20:00 AM)

    Nice one, C.J.

    It's funny - to one person these things are a source of constant aggravation, but to another a gift from God.

    A good reminder to not take the people in our lives for granted. Lovely.

    Shannon (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • Rookie Hugh Cobb (12/7/2005 9:47:00 PM)

    CJ:

    This piece is very evocative. It is a lovely description of loss and remembrance. It doesn't matter whether the loss is a death, separation, divorce or stems from some other cause. The small details are well-realized and assist the dimensionality of the poem.

    The rhyme scheme is very well done, except in the final verse. That's where the slant rhyme doesn't hold up as well. It might do with a little rethinking to see if there is a way to keep the rhyme exact as in the first two stanzas. (Just a thought.) It could work like this: Little flaws giant sighs incite.

    With warm wishes for a joyous Christmas season!

    HDC (Report) Reply

  • Rookie ***** ********* (12/7/2005 6:15:00 PM)

    CJ, nice poem, you have no idea how I would love to have those irritating habits back in my life! lol The poem suggests that he's still around, so enjoy, is my advice, cus ya never know whats around the corner. 10 from Tai (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points John Kay (12/7/2005 2:05:00 PM)

    CJ....it's nice to have these things put into perspective. It's tough being a husband. We hardly ever get it right. But I don't mean to make light of your loss if he is really gone. A poem well done. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 602 Points Uriah Hamilton (12/7/2005 11:36:00 AM)

    The heart really can miss even flaws. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mary Nagy (12/7/2005 10:54:00 AM)

    CJ, this is such a sad and tender poem..............we feel your pain. Very touching. You've made me appreciate my husband just a little more now, thank you. Sincerely, mary (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Michael Shepherd (12/7/2005 9:41:00 AM)

    CJ - I dedicate my poem 'Toothpaste Tubes and Toilet Seats' to you - though I can't take away the sadness... so let's laugh a little...
    'Personalize Your Home! Paint a Freudian Dragon on Your Toilet Seat to Remind Him...SINGE...SNAP.... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Joseph Daly (12/7/2005 8:53:00 AM)

    Us men, hey CJ? Lovely image of the toilets seat being like a dragon about to bite. With all this 'men are so stupid' messages put across by the media these days this is a refreshing take on it. Men act silly because you let us.

    Love

    Denis Joe (Report) Reply

Read all 8 comments »



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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, December 7, 2005



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