Misunderstood Love, Or Unjust Treatment? Poem by Derrick Andrews

Anxiety, Suspense,
Did I move a second early?
I let down my defense,
And to think that, surely,

She wouldn't break my heart,
She understands me,
Yet her love tears me apart,
It breaks me, bends me,
Molding me into an object,
A tool she rightly uses,
I've no time to reflect,
Upon my scars and bruises,
Though I willingly let her hurt me,
I do as she wishes,
Why doesn't she desert me,
Into the ocean, with the fishes,

Anxiety, Depression,
Have I chosen wrong again?
Am I in a state of regression?
One with seemingly no end? ..

It's as if she seeks to make me hers,
As if my opinion doesn't matter,
Every fiber of my will defers,
But I still remain the latter,
It seems to me, like I mean nothing,
Just another trophy over your fireplace,
My absence wouldn't mean a thing,
Just something else to you must replace,
But even now, I won't leave you,
It's like a curse that I must bear,
It's my duty to relieve you,
Of lonliness' snare,
Though I do love you,
You torture me,
So in order to be true,
I'll stay faithfully,

Love, affection,
Two things that can make you suffer,
As well as bring you divine protection,
To serve as your most important buffer,

Love, seems now, to be my curse,
So I'll be your object, used for you gain,
I pray that this will get no worse,
But I will withstand this pain...