Most Painful Day Of My Life Poem by Louise Tredoux

When I informed Rudi of my trip with Juliette’s
mother to Italy, he was even more jealous than
me – saying if I went, he won’t see me again, yet
I know if I stay, I’ll be stabbing my friend in the back –
Juliette’s counting on me, now she is expecting -
to take care of her mom – for the first time in my life
I have to weigh the pros and cons - for the first time
I felt what it’s like to choose duty before pleasure

I would prefer to stay with Rudi, especially now that I
know he is jealous of me – yet I have an obligation
towards Juliette, my friend from when I was small,
and her mother, who is always there for me – so in
great pain and sorrow, I chose to accompany her
mother to Italy, even though Rudi said if I did so,
he would never talk to me again – can we humans
be expected to weigh life-time obligations against
our life-time loves?

Apparently yes, I had to inform Rudi, crying, that I
was going to support Alora, Juliette’s mom, against
any objections he might think up, I did not sleep
afterwards, but I knew that honour and duty as well
as integrity, were part of me – if I said no, fearing
Rudi’s reaction, I would have hated myself for the
rest of my life – if I lose him,

As he threatens I shall, he is not the man I thought
he was, I’ll get over him, however painful the price
I have to pay for the insight – I spent the night
shivering, not able to believe he could be rejecting
me if I did my duty – when he came to me, apologizing
and indicating he approved of my choice; detrimental
to him as it was, I cried unstoppably, my trust in him
was right - yet it was the most painful day of my life…