Mother's Words Poem by DAUGHTER OF A CRACKED MIND

Mother, did you mean it
when you called me 'brainless'?
Did you really think this to be so?
I wonder if you knew
what was going on in my head

How did you feel when you called
me 'hopeless'- a useless waste of space?
Did you really believe this to be true
or were they just words to you

I wonder if you knew what it did to me
didn't you think how I felt, Or did you just not care
maybe I was just nothing to you
A waste of your time as you so often said

When you called me 'dumb'
was it just another word for you
Or did you really think that I was not smart?

Maybe someone told you
could that have been your reason

Did you not think that maybe
I would start to believe it too?
Maybe you were right

how could you end up
with such a 'stupid' child; Totally 'brainless'
as you would so often put it

Did my feelings ever matter to you
or did you just say the 'useless' child
She can't do anything right

or was it just that you could not be bothered
Was I just too much trouble
Did I take too much of your time?

I wonder what made you to believe that
I was 'worthless', of so little value
Not worth your time, or even your effort to care
Maybe the words good for nothing is what you thought

Did you really believe in your heart
that I would never amount to anything?
Or were you just hiding from your own failures

maybe it was just easier to blame your child
It could never have been your fault
so it must have been mine

Now tell me
what mother would tell their child to never have children
because they were too 'hopeless' and 'stupid'
to ever make a good mother
Were you trying to say that you were?

Now you expect me to call you mother
Do you really think you earned such a precious word?
'Stupid', 'dumb' and totally 'brainless' I am not

So now why should I bother to call you mother
can you answer me this?
Or have you now lost your tongue