Time does not stop it moves, it compels, it forces us forward
Time makes me into my future, but it's my past I'm moving toward
I both cling to it and strive for it
I don't want to, but I feel I can't bear to just leave
I feel stuck, there is an obstacle, I push, I shove, I heave
But it will not budge, because I don't want it to
I push, but I fear what will happen if it does move
I'm not sure if I can handle that reality, not sure I can live without you
I think what we had- what I had for you was and is love
Is that something you just move on from?
Is that something I can just push aside, yes each new day will come
Alas although time propels me forward I think
I'm getting deeper into my past, depression, deeper deeper I sink
With each step of time away the feelings are two steps closer
I cannot simply stop, how will I not think of her
Not think of you
I don't wonder anymore if you think of me too
The past is behind me, although I choose to live there
I don't think I want to
But on some level I do, I want to dwell on the past, I still want you
I can't imagine desiring this suffering, but I don't care
I want to feel hurt because I want to feel in love
I want to feel alone so I can pretend you used to be there
But you weren't- aren't
I do not understand my heart, but I do know pain
If I don't have this memory what do I have?
What solace or comfort is there with nothing to replace
Nothing to fill the gaping empty space
I'd rather go insane than forget
So it seems I will move into my past, I will because I want to
Someone please stop me, even if it's not you.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem