Mugging In Edinburgh Poem by Terry Collett

The Yank came in over night
and at breakfast that morning

in the Edinburgh hotel
he said

I was mugged last night
at the railway station

and your brother said
how comes that happened?

Well I was in the john
the Yank said

and someone banged
on the door of the stall

and said
open up I’m going to throw up

and so I opened up
and the guy pushed me back

and stole my wallet
out of my pants

and ran off with it
and you said

you opened up
to let the guy in

while you were on the john?
well I wasn’t thinking

the Yank replied
I just thought

well he needs to get in
and the other guests

at the table
looked at each other

but said nothing
and your brother said

what did you do then?
Oh I finished my business

and phoned the cops
the Yank said

and they
were most helpful

they said they’d
get in touch

when they caught the guy
and you said

you want any ketchup
with that sausage,

bacon and egg?
and the Yank nodded

and you felt his hand
touching your leg.