My Body's A Temple But I Treat It Like A Dump Poem by Richard Wlodarski

Well, I wake up with booze on my breath
And I feel like hell worse than death
Munch down a donut gulp down a coffee
Well, it was all so very easy

For lunch it's hot diggity dog
If lucky some barbecued hog
Run down to the I.Q.
For a beer or few

Order a small pitcher of beer
Helps with the noise I don't wanna hear
Play the juke box so loud I'm deaf
Pinching loonies from my friend Jeff

Order another small pitcher of cheaper beer
Starting to taste better and makes me wanna cheer
My buddy Willie is sounding like Chuck Berry
Playing with his Ding A Ling kissing Mustang Sally

Watching Jack Daniels sitting all alone
Gulp down a couple just to get stoned
Mary Jane's a gathering on the patio
Huff and puff a couple of tokes thinking about Mexico

The cheap beer and Jack Daniels really make me wanna pee
Lineup's way too long go outside and pee by the cherry tree
Mother Nature needs all the help she can get
Got intimate with her felt like we just met

Munchies are starting to kick in God Almighty
Juke box playing Jesus Built My Hot Rod and Let It Be
Pickled eggs are starting to make me fart
Can't stop loving them too close to my heart

Arm wrestling's a great way to stay fit
Every day a little bit by bit
Keeping the arms in shape by playing pool
With my own pool cue 'cause I'm way to cool

Hoisting a larger pitcher to keep my arms strong
Better than pumping iron at the gym So Wrong
Drinking vodka and orange juice for vitamin C
Tanning on the patio soaking in the vitamin D

Getting chased by Emma keeps the heart pumping
A whole lot better than jogging or swimming
My body's a temple but I treat it like a dump
At least my hair's in great shape unlike Donald Trump



Richard Wlodarski July 2015