My Grandmother (Reminiscence Of My Childhood) Poem by Nur Meiyati

Morning
I inhaled the fresh morning air
In my parents' house
Where I spent my childhood
I walked down the path that leads to my river
While reminiscing my childhood day
And a reminiscence of what I told you about my family
In the balcony of once our paradise home

My father were from another town far from this village
My grandmother was not from this village either but my mom was born here
I remembered that my grandmother was often talking about our ancestry
She was so proud of her blood as a Raden Ayu, a Javanese priyayi
But she was very nice, loved all the people in my village
And the people in my village loved her
She was very generous and liked to share anything she had
She was diligent to go to church
Just like all her siblings, my grandmother was a Chatolic

There was one thing that I did not like from her when I was a child, however
She always reminded my sisters, brother and me how to address to people whenever we were in her house
How difficult to be a Javanese, I thought
“You are a Javanese girl”
We heard that sentence often, from my parents
We had to do this and that according to Javanese philosophy, view, and ethics, and tradition
And as an addition I had always been reminded that we still had that 'blood'
As a Javanese girl, I always had to think where my position was
I would only be called a true Javanese
If I could pose myself properly in a certain situation and among other people
And I had to think which level of Javanese language I should use
There are three levels in Javanese language: ngoko, madya, and krama alus.
Which level of language I should use depended on the context
With whom I spoke to
Whether he/ she had a higher or lower status than me
And the degree of closeness in our relationship.
Different people different mode and different level of language
However, my sisters, my brother and I could master refine Javanese language well
That only few people could attain it
As we used that refine Javanese language at home everyday
I was lucky however that I have been living in the Indonesian Independence era
When Javanese people are naturally forced to adapt to living in the democratic era, not in the feudal era

One of many things that I could learn from my grandmother
Although she lived in a small village and lived the life like the other villagers
But I could see a true priyayi character in her
She was aware and proud of her blood
But when other people who in the past should respect her and they did not
My grandmother did not became furious
She would just say “I am different from them, so I should not behave like them”
She really had dignity
But never looked down other people, what were called small people
She liked to help those who needed food and shelter

But when I began to know the situation at work
I was aware
There were feudalism everywhere
Mentality of the civil servants, moreover in the army forces
Crazy attitude
The superiors were crazy of respect from the citizens and the subordinates
They posed themselves as the kings or priyayi that had to be served and respected
Colonial feudalism
We had a Javanese term for those such people that could embarrass themselves, in fact
…......
Even until today
And that was what I learned
As I started to work since I was very young