My New Shoes Poem by Cheryle Sanders

I had a date so I bought a pair of shiny chocolate shoes, my first new pair in two years.
It was a very joyous day!
I decided I would walk the five miles home and soak up the last rays of the sun.
There was still time, my date was at nine.
I whistled all the way, swinging the bag to and fro.
Images danced in my head, oh how wonderful they would look paired with my chocolate three-piece suit.
The night was moving in, the sun almost gone.
I turned down my street and quickened my pace.
Key, turn, open door. Then I dart up the stairs.
I donned the suit in under a min and then retrieved my new shoes in a flash…blink and you'll miss it.
I put the left one on, nothing wrong, absolutely perfect.
Then the right one I try, but something's not right, it won't go on.
And then I see why: two left feet!
Oh my, how funny, that will never do!
It's half past five, there's still time, but I will have to get the bus.
I quicken my pace, as time is slim.
I don't bother getting change back.
The shoes are thrown in the box.
Slam door!
And I run like a greyhound out of a trap.
I reach the end of the road with still twenty-six minutes left.
Just need to cross over to the other side.
As I step off the pavement I sense danger.
A double-decker skims my nose and I pull back in a knee jerk reaction, but I am pinned momentarily to the ground.
At first no pain, then a rush as I realize my right foot has just been run over by a bus.
The ambulance arrives in good time, but there's no way I will change the shoes today.
And I will probably miss my date.
But this story has a happy ending as my right foot was so badly crushed by the bus that they had to amputate it.
Leaving me with a left foot and two shoes that fit like a dream.
And no need to return them
Result!