My Own Kingdom Of Paltry Royalty Poem by James Darwin Smith II

Died many times by living
Life straying into delusion
Bumped in the head by oblivion
Built my heart a personal prison
They never understood who I really was


Cried inside many times
Why could I not be like them?
Felt bizarre from the inside
Disappeared from reality
Never felt comfortable blending in


Who was I?
An introvert acting away
Everything was all good on the outside
Inner turmoil burning this heart
Into a decaying crisp, But I still always cared


I was tainted from the start
It is all on me,
The captain of my own destiny
Riding a ship filled with enigmatic grace
Upon waves of crashing fury
All in a day's self-worth


What is left but not feeling right?
Directions spinning every which way but asunder
Been to the bottom of a wishing
Drowning in wishes never fulfilled


Who cares, anymore?
I am in charge of this personal destiny
Ride or die with me
Just know where I have always been


I am north going south
East going west
I am worst at being my best
But I have no longer shame in that


Died many times living
Became stronger than death wanted me to be
Freed myself of self-regret
Feel fine being society's disease


I am proudly walking tall with these flaws
There will never be anyone like me
Still emotional in my cause
But that is what makes me feel beautifully ugly
Handsome in these ways of freakish nature


I work so hard not to be enslaved by my own misery
Yet, always remembering where I came from


Will you always remember me?
Even when I was at my very worst


The worst I am is the best I will never try to be


My heart is coded
Solve it with will and fortitude
I dare you!


Welcome to my Kingdom of Paltry Royalty!