My Shed Nightmare (Part One) Poem by Don Stratford

“Go down and chop the wood” Mum said “it’s going to be cold”
So off I trudged into the mist while trying to be bold
It was getting dark and sounds appeared that were not there before
My inner self was shaking hard as shadows lengthened more

The chopping block had pride of place outside the old shed doors
It was big and old and gnarled and it’d seen so many chores
From splitting wood to kindling to the decapitation of a bird?
That was put into the cooking pot to feed the hungry herd

The surface was now part con-caved from all the use it had
But I couldn’t get it levelled out because I asked my dad
and he just said “son get on with it and don’t mind that it’s so
just be careful every log you hit that you don’t hit your toe”

As darkness set it did get tough to see what logs there were to split
The barrow now was almost full and I was thinking that was it
It was time to get back to the house those sounds were getting worse
Then a blood curdling scream deep within the shed that sounded like a curse

I took off back up to the house, my feet, they didn’t touch the ground
From what I can remember I did it all in just one bound
I raced into the kitchen and I was white as white could be
And told mum what’d happened and she just laughed and said, “let’s see”

For quite some time I wouldn’t budge, to the kitchen I was bound
Mum kept on saying that its OK we’ll go down to find that sound
So taking torch and candles - we slowly did adjourn
Down to the shed and wood heap where I almost had my turn

Mum whistled away quite merrily - she didn’t seem to care
Of what was now awaiting us she was sure to lay it bare
To find the awful creature that gave me such a start
And lay it all to rest be sure - and to settle my thumping heart

Slowly step by step we went as we progressed towards the shed
And I gotta tell you right here and now it was something that I dread
To face that god damn awful thing that made that eerie sound
That set my heart a thumpin’ and spun me round and round

By now it was getting pretty dark and images appeared
No matter where I looked or turned those shadows they just leered
As if to say come here young lad we’ll have you in our spell
And I’m not bloody kiddin’ mate I was as scared as hell!

My knuckles were all white and stiff hanging on to Mum so tight
And every little sound and move they gave me such a fright
Till the shed we did arrive at and scratching sounds were heard
From deep within that haunted shed but there was not a word

The light from torch and candles were not all that good those days
But we fumbled on in any case, in all our awkward ways
Then we found ourselves inside the shed drenched only in half light
With shadows only lengthening and projecting an eerie sight

Then out of the corner of my eye a movement I did spy
I wasn’t sure of what it was but it was big - and I let out a cry
And clung onto me Mum much tighter th-an she thought I should
As we swung our light to see it more as it ducked behind the wood

“Come out you nasty thing right now and show your face to us”
But our lights they were not strong enough and Mum let out a cuss
Slowly, slowly it did rise and walked towards our light, “Ye-gad”!
The face that stepped into the light was that of my own Dad


Don Stratford 20 / 9 /2006