My Story Poem by stephen Tanner

My Story



In first grade, I had my first crush.
Not really a girlfriend, but the first girl that I ever really trust.
I remember we never talked when others were near, because at that age, the only emotion boys and girls were supposed to have for one another was fear.
Then its third grade, and she's my best friend.
We were always together, like it was some kind of trend.
Now I'm changing schools.because I'm to poor to go there.
Saying goodbye to each other like its temporary, not knowing it was more than likly going to be permanently.
Or was it, its high school now.
She's now just a fading dream, until I see her at the mall, just as pretty as she could ever be.
I was stunned to see her, and how much we changed.
She loved rock, I liked rap, we could see our old friendship was cracked.
But we kept talking, like old friends do, and through time I refound why we were best friends, and around the same time as I, so did she.
So its back like it was! Or wait, is it?
With the older you get, the more complicated things get too, was it just friendship we had, or was love somewhere in it too?
So I had to find out, I mean it had to be right?
Meeting up again just couldn't be a coincedence, we were being shone down upon by destinies light!
So I gathered my courage, and was about to ask her out, until she says just the day befor she got a new boyfriend and that they're hanging out.
I am crushed, it hurts so bad,
With everytime she tells me how great he is, I only become more sad.
But I will not give up, ill wait for her,
But with every single month that goes by, I doubt even more that he'll make his departure.

POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
I'm 17 years old. This is my first poem. I've always heard that the best poems are the true ones. And this is all true. This is current and up to date. I want for people to comment, rate, and give me tips. But most of all I want advice on what to do. Thank you.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Jeremy Tanner 21 July 2012

Thanks alot, ill work on it and make the changes soon.

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Michael Round 21 July 2012

Watch spelling errors taking away the run - line 8 to for too. I think 'versing' would help the eye of the reader and attention to line length - line 5 double space, etc. You might have shortened lines to help the run of the eye since this is not prose. Because there is no beat or rhythm to the poem you could get away with this and the occasional rhyme would still work: she loved rock I liked rap You should work on this poem it has potential

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