No Surprise Poem by Freya Jones

Is it any surprise
that im sitting here
with tears in my eyes
and a heart so heavy
and my stomach so tight
tell me
is it any surprise
youd do this to me
again
i should have known
i should have prepared myself
i should have known
known not to trust you
its no surprise that im broken
again
knew it was too good to be true
knew it must have been fake or at least
just temporary
should have known youd do this to me
again
is it any surprise that im lost
muscles and bones start
the familiar sense of confusion
and that oh so recogniseable fate
minor tasks seem so trivial once more
cant be asked to do anything
anymore
wont get up
cant get dressed
thers no effort left in my body
and no its no surprise
should have known better
and once again
i blame myself
even though im still so angry
yes once again i blame myself
i feel like i have failed
failed as a friend
she couldnt open up to me
couldnt bare me her soul
and so im wronged
once again
shes just a lost child
doesnt know who she is
all i wanted to do was take her in my wings
hold her
never let go
never let go
i promise to stick my you
you dont need to be afraid any more
open your heart
let me in
im begging you to let me in
your my project
i wanna get through to you
wont you let me in
i promise i'll be true
let me be true to you
cause girl, im in love with you