Not Far From Home Is A Better Life Poem by Not Long Left
Not Far From Home Is A Better Life
The moonlit lethargic lake,
unrushed, moves within itself,
occasional ripples grow,
then finally they break.
Lost leaves from winter
shedding trees
Dance and swirl.
One final display,
before they are carried away.
Such stillness, such ease
in this cold yet reassuring breeze.
Midnight moon light
Cloaks the lake at night.
A home of hidden life,
breathes deep below
Near invisible fishes
darting and departing
an underwater show.
The evergreens are grinning
at their naked cousins,
The lake looks on,
the birds sing on.
Unhurried thoughts flow
freely beside the waters edge.
I don't much like nature descriptions in poetry or prose, but this one is great. Serene and magical, mesmerising. I quite liked the ending. I think it's not abrupt, but very apt. And I enjoyed your clever tricks with words (like evergreens grinning, or darting and departing) . A nice write.10 from me. Julia
Great write with a good sense of poetic appreciation shown, however I suggest you avoid extremly abrubt endings. I felt the last line lost touch with the poem. I must nevertheless congratulate you on your work which has potray the beauty of nature in all it's originality! Great work! ! !
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/29/2024 4:57:38 PM # 1.0.0.1119
I like it too, Vincent. I think your theme's worthwhile and well expressed. A couple small points: 3rd stanza, I don't know why you have a comma after the 3rd line; 1st stanza, either change the 'O' in 'Occasionally' to lower case, or else put a period, instead of a comma, at the end of the previous line.5th stanza, small typo, you have 'thier' instead of 'their'.