Not Ok Poem by Summer Owusu

Are you ok?
What’s wrong with you?
Why are you acting like that?

No I’m not
I don’t know
Acting like what?

Acting like I’m lost, confused, I don’t know what to do
I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m not okay

Everyday feeling like a burden, like a whole lot of stress
Sometimes wanting to escape this mess

Why did I do all of this? Why didn’t I think?
Now I’m lost, sad, confused, is there any help

Yes they say they will help me, they all say that
But the truth is, they just want me back

Want me back to how I was before, before everything
They don’t care how I get there, they just want me back

Are you ok?
What’s wrong with you?
Why are you acting like that?

I’m not okay, I’m NOT OKAY! STOP ASKING ME THAT! !
Do I look okay to you? Do I?

Or do I look the same? The same way I have always been
Hiding myself deep within

I don’t know, I DON’T KNOW! !
I don’t know what’s wrong with me

I hate that question
If you think I knew what is wrong, wouldn’t I have been trying to fix it?

Acting like what, ACTING LIKE WHAT?
Just leave me alone with all your ifs, ands, and buts

I am acting like any normal human being would with feelings
Hurt, sad, depressed, lonely

Funny that they think they know me
If they did, I would have been over this now, over everything possibly

But like I said, they only want me back, the old lovable me
They don’t care how I get there

Are you ok?
What’s wrong with you?
Why are you acting like that?

I’m not, I’m not, and I have never been.
This okay you speak of is foreign to me

Am I? Am I okay?
Is it normal to be almost crazy every day?

So close to snapping, to just screaming and laughing?
Going wild with all my thoughts, about to just break in?

Wanting to run, just run and hide in a corner, have all my problems disappear.
What happened to you? We want you back! They question and scream at me

I don’t know I don’t know! ! I’m so confused.
Just leave me alone, I already feel that way

Alone, lonely, looking for someone to understand
While going crazy inside all at the same time

Are you ok?
What’s wrong with you?
Why are you acting like that?

Yes, I am okay
Sorry I was not thinking straight
Haha, acting like what? I am perfectly fine.