Nothing To Lose Poem by Ayase Itsuki

When I was six,
I lived close to a stream.
To jump into those waters,
that had been my dream.
But I didn't know how to swim,
As easy as it may seem.
I knew I would drown,
Even before I could scream.
I would lose my family,
And they would lose me.

At the age of ten,
We were moving away.
Swaying next to the stream
Were trees which grew day by day.
I didn't turn around to see
The truck that came our way
But then I felt a sudden shock
And every thing went grey.
I was woken up by a nurse to be told
That I lost my father that day.

My mother started unusual habits
Like drinking and smoking lots
I didn't know how that would help,
But I didnt have the guts,
The guts to ask her why
She turned the way she was
Six years later, after school,
I got home to find a buzz,
Everyone gave me pitiful looks,
Now I lost my mum

Two days after mothers' funeral,
I wore my camping shoes,
I went to the stream which now was a river
I had freedom to choose
To choose to jump into the River
And see what happens to fools,
Fools like me who don't need to think,
As I've got nothing to lose...