Now - Or Never Poem by NurViktoria Ellen

NOW – OR NEVER

This time
poetry won’t do. To get rid of this passion
verses aren’t drastic enough. No rhyme,
however final and appropriate, will pacify
my raving heart, and the most compulsive beat
can’t keep my frustration in line.
Tonight,
no amount of sad music or sighing at the sunset
will keep my despair at bay or my anger
at a civilized 78 degrees.
I’ve been here before, time and time again,
on this very edge of indecision, weighing up, swaying,
before me the deep blue sea, uncompromising, challenging me to speak up,
behind me the devil I know, promising a quiet life.
I’ve been here in my dreams and waking nightmares.
Hours, days, years spent pondering, discussing, wondering, doing nothing.
Here I am again, agonizing over the right timing.
If not now, when?
When I’ve succeeded to dull the pain and lull the brain
with legal substances and logical excuses?
When I’ve got used to the pangs of regret and remorse?
When I’ve fallen into the middle-age trap
of moaning in comfort and style?
When I’ve mastered the art of meditating away my motivation
and analyzing life to death?
I know what to do, if not today, when?

Tomorrow will be too late.