One More Excuse Poem by Jay Aguiniga

Just one more day

I can’t wait for the day
When I have the courage to breakaway...
I’m so tired, so worn, so shattered
I just don’t have much to say.
I’m sorry…I do not have the strength to carry on.
I hate fighting, I hate hating you,
I hate knowing I couldn’t have won.

But I know I should go…
Do you have any idea what I’m talking about?
What is it you desire to know?
Do you want to know, how I really feel?
How you hurt me? Should I tell you, that
You’re like, a thief in the night who steals…
That your coldness towards me
is like a bitter winter storm…
All I ever wanted was to be held
close, to fever and be warmed…

Do you even care about any of the
small things that are running through me?
I didn’t think so; it’s always been about you.
You are blind, and you will never see…
You will never feel my love, for you have amputated my desire.
You will never know the true me,
for you have shredded my heart with sharp twisting barbwire.

And you wonder why... at times I seem so far away.
It’s because I’m dying,
It’s devastating… watching my spiritual side decay.
I just want to know I’m alive.
I just want someone to pound on my heart,
I want to be electrified, just waiting to be revived.
But I just sit here and take your abuse.
Each and every day, I make believe that you love me.
Giving me purpose... to withstand one more day.
Giving me a reason… to make just one more excuse..