Order Of The Bathtub Poem by Seamus O' Brian

Once I stood in the bathtub.
I remember the scene precisely
For its solemnity and gravity
The grey sun that set on 6037
Flora Terrace when I whispered
To heaven my vow of celibacy
While George Washington looked on
From the ceramic tile patching the hole
Beneath the shower head while rivulets
Of warmth flowed down the flesh of my lonely soul.
If You loved me when no one else could
Or would, why should I not make you a gift
Of this unwanted heart? These skinny limbs
These crooked teeth, this worthless laughter
Of an impoverished child the only gifts
I had to give, all I had and all I was
tossed to the rubbish bin day by day
by the world's uncaring, unseeing eyes.

And so I wrapped them carefully
In the holy pain of a child's love
And gave them to the One
Who whispered "Just as you are."

And as the years crept by and finally
The edge of the glacier reached the sea
And tendrils of love invaded
the crevices of my heart and
Broke it open.

And I danced in the light of love
And my soul sang the songs
With words I had never learned,
Breathed into me from the edge
Of time, and in the seasons of love
This acorn became an oak.
And yet, the guilt of my vow
Before God and George Washington
Secretly gnawed at my soul.
How weak I am, unfaithful
And ungrateful⌐
To take back that precious gift
I gave before love ran through
The desert of my life like the water
That ran down my flesh on the day
That I vowed I would be yours alone.

Although many years have
Bent my back and dimmed my eyes
And cracked and worn
The bark of this old oak,
I have heard the whisper
Of a thousand voices in the wind
Or a single voice in a thousand winds
Gently chiding me that the gift I gave
In innocence, tender solemnity
Was given back a thousand-fold to me
Joyously, through the light of the love
Under which I danced, every breath
Of the song which filled my soul
Every ring of laughter from
The depths of my child's heart,
The very gift I gave given back to me
Wrapped in beauty, wrapped in tears,
Wrapped in the joy of all these years.

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