Ian McArthur

Rookie (17 08 91 - better be a Long time from now or there will be trouble! / Squamish, British Columbia)

Phe-Nom-Al 'Eala - Poem by Ian McArthur

(A parody of Phenomenal Woman, and tribute to healers in WoW, whom often get the short half of the stick. Written in character of the troll Swéll.)

Raid 'ealas wonda where mae secret lies
I'm not geared or talent specced ta optimize
But when I start ta tell dem
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in da rotation of mae spells
Da tics of mae hots,
Da space of mae range,
da procs 'a mae crits.
I'm a eala
Phe-nom-alee.
Phe-nom-al eala,
Dat's mae.

I walk inta heroics
Just cool as ya roll greed,
'En to da last,
Da dps /stare or
Fall down ta /kneel.
Den dey run round mae,
Proff'n dere mech-'og keys.
I say,
It's da way dat I cleanse
And da flash of mae eals,
Da touch of mae mana,
'En da pace dat I keep.
I'm a eala.
Phe-nom-alee.
Phe-nom-al eala,
Dat's mae.

Tanks demselves 'ave wonda'd
What dey see in me.
Dey try so much
But dey can't strain
Mae endless mana sea.
Dey say dey still fail ta understand.
I say
It's dat /lol in da lull,
Da sun of mae /smile,
Da socketed dress
Da tricks of mae tree.
I'm a eala
Phe-nom-alee.
Phe-nom-al eala,
Dat's mae.

Naw ya understand
Just why mae head's not bowed.
I don't need threat taken' from mae.
Or ave ta /p MB!
When ya see mae runnin'
It ought ta make ya /proud
I say,
It's in da speed of mae casts,
Da spark 'a mae 'Oly,
Da roots 'a mae Resto,
Dat need of mae care,
'Cause I'm a eala
Phe-nom-alee.
Phe-nom-al eala.
Dat's mae.


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, March 24, 2011



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