Psychotic Introspection. Poem by S.H alias.

I've been ravaged twice now
by this peculiar affliction
And i ask myself
on this desperate familiar night
is it fair for me
to be continually rescued
from my pitfalls of rationality
parted from the hands of Satan himself
if such a thing exists
and placed in this flimsy
medicated reality
where I'm condemned
to whimper through my life
like a maimed animal
infused with melancholy and
tormented by
a sense of former grandeur
that i can never gratify
i know its my fate to die
in these excruciating increments
but i think a bullet to the head
would be much more humane.