Puppet X,21 Poem by Jerry Ratch

21



I see
I see things
differently

The ugly side
The pretty side
The people in
their beds

Guessing at angels
from under a tree

I was certain
I was certain, determined
and mean
Now I'm not
so sure

These woods
These weeds
This particular slope…

My language is alive, and my eyes
Though my heart is sometimes cold
I admit

Though we try all
our disguises
and act
perfect
We are not actors
We are parodies
A corpse going
over hurdles
We don't get far…

Now I am nothing
I have given in

Hill and vale
Hill and vale
I guess I don't
have a reason

I knew it wasn't me

* *

I laughed
I laughed so hard
I broke my foot
Causing a long sensation
of feeling
And lay there like a piece
of something that had gone wrong

Oh, I don't act normal

I laughed all the way through it
I forgot and grew old
And nothing now
can bother me

The dog barking all the time
like an annoying heartbeat

A noise to live with…

I notice the room
It seems very close
There they are
calling each other
by their names

And a voice
enters the moon
Whose full skull
stares on our frightened
labor

Who can no longer look
into the future

“Oh, he's alive and laughing
somewhere on earth
Rest assured…”

Having to stand around in garages
Diminished
Useless
While people rake their lawns
in the world

Tiny balloons to ants
Happiness to the clothesline

Light laughs
over the surface of things…

Sometimes you
smile
No one
can shut his eyes

* *

Yes... Yes, I know them well
A large number have gotten in
Even the toys

Finally I began
holding them
Who would've thought? …

The horse, the stranger
The nervous of the earth
The unidentified member
His insect grief

: A skeleton on its knees
on any other planet

Men hated
for their spirit

You should see a lot of things
I don't want to see
'Don't you know how
to control yourself, young man? '

I never have
quite figured it out…

Don't think me dust
Just yet
Pale and lawless
I like it on earth

* *

It rained hard
All the roses
were face
down

I saw a thing
pulling a black hankie
out of its side
Adhesive
All those things

Conclusions to be had
Life is here…

Little messages coming in
Stars breaking through
the myths of body
into the sea of
unwilling skin

My unbegotten children
My daughters, my sons