Quick Slate Cleaner Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

When I announced I didn't want any of it,
All of it became available.
As if a decision I had made,
Could be teased.
And my mind would find fresh pleasures.

When I was there caring...
I cared.
That's why I was there.
Because I cared!
When the purpose of my caring ends...
I don't pretend.
It ends!
And there is no convincing.
I am not one to stand on a fence.
There has been very few times,
I sought and needed assitance...
To make up my mind!
I am not that kind.

When I have love.
It is there and unconditional!
If testing of those conditions begin,
Something I have and give...
Certainly is not being comprehended.
And I am not a good instructor...
When it comes to rules of love,
And interpretations of it!
It diminishes in value.
Especially if what is felt has to be explained!
Even the thought of doing it is useless!
I have become very practical.
If I have lost an investment?
That's what it is...
A lost investment!
Some folks rather gather others,
To become smothered in tears.
As if those actions will erase,
Regrettable decisions.
They don't!
They just prolong them,
For bouts with recycled doubts!
I've learned to be a quick slate cleaner.

Something I feel that comes to a stop.
Comes to a stop!
And I give everything all I've got!
When the purpose of my caring ends...
I don't pretend.
It ends!
I am not in the business of rekindling,
Anything that has fizzled.
When the flame of my heat is turned off...
By someone or something,
Believing it will be easy to have my heart reset?
Forget it.
I wouldn't want to be the one to lose that bet!
There is nothing like lessons learned.
And I am not living my life repeating regrets.
Or satisfy my desires with stagnation!
For some...
That might work!
I'm just not one to argue about it.