Ramble Ii Poem by Michelle Tiddy

I'm sitting outside, there's an empty chair to my left
Who do I want to fill It? Who leaves me bereft? ?
Should my Mom take the seat? Does she make my life complete
Make me feel cosy? My mom, I don't ever remember hugs
No cuddles, but dinner on the table and stuff. When
She knew I was pregnant She didn't embrace me,
'I didn't think you wanted kids', needless
To say, I banned her from the delivery suite
But! I still love her, she has nutured me
She gave birth to me and nearly died
But why can't she show love, without asking for the prize?

My Dad is my warrior, my saviour
A silly, crazy, lazy, being, who has
Almost been taken from me, with the
Cruelness that is cancer. I love him so
But how do I show him that, my Mom steals
His bat, his glory, his hitting gold
But his love to my heart I will always hold
We share a passion for old films, and songs
When Gene Kelly parades his untolds, Goodness
I love my Dad so much..... I wish I could show him
Really show him, how much he means to me.

My siblings are amazing, they are truly
Great. One with a fabulous career, one
Who holds his family so dear, one who almost
Lost her way, but has found herself again
But, they are so much older than me.. they
Sometimes scorn me, and laugh at me, for being me.
Oh she! who has everything, the looks, the career
But all I ever wanted, was to have them near
Right by my side, forever and a day
I never, want them, to ever go away...
They are my history, my loves, my direction...

And then there's my son.. the angel's delight
Who again, was almost snatched from my grasp
But I held strong, and so did he, he fought
For his place in this world with me...
He is my grounding rock, my perfect rainbow
A dream, a lullaby, a sonnet that pierces your heart
A wonderous spirit, who from the start, I knew
Even when he was feasting in my belly
Would always be mine.. I love him so
I cannot explain how I would die for him....
He saved my soul, came along and took it out of the nighttime.

So, this empty chair is still beckoning
I don't know with whom I want to talk tonight
It's balmy outside, the wind is low
The starlight is trying to speak to me
And yet again, I'm alone, on the decking
Just by myself, the odd bat and bird flutters by
They have a purpose, they know why.. where they
Are going, what they are doing, who they are..
I guess, it's my destiny to struggle with the
Inner-'me', the one I'm not sure of, even though
I blame everyone else for this fault....

If I had a swing, I would swing, , ,
If I could sing, I would sing.. If I could
Play the strings, they would dance an aria
For you.. but they don't, they are defunct
They've shown their stuff and played their love
And been kicked into the corner, so I stay alone
In the dark, not even a sparkle of light from
A firefly, a perfect little bug, who probably
Knows a thing or two about love and the such
Maybe I should be a caterpillar, who hides in his cocoon
Until the month of June, when he spreads his wings