Ray Of Light Poem by sophie mew

How long do I have to pretend I'm unbreakable until people notice I'm broken?
How long does it take for a heart to mend after it's been torn apart?
Ripped apart from the inside-out
Scars that will never be visible
Just look at my heart
Look through my eyes and see through my hollow soul do you see a future very bright?
I spent 2years of my life resorting to thingsthat were not in my life plan
Doing things I don't remember
Numbing the pain everyday
Trying to shield my broken broken heart
That I once wore upon my sleeve
I've been a lost and broken soul walking around a dark tunnelled hole
Clinging to dear life on a far away dream my one true love returning back to me
Every day since I was 16 I have laid In bed trying to imagine what she could now look like.
Doing anything to block out and shield my self from the pain knowing she's just celebrated her 2nd birthday I can't tell her I love her I can't tell her I miss her I can't hold her when she cries I can't protect her from the world of which I learned is so cruel.
Of me she hold no memories for this little girl was taken away from me at such a young age
contact they took away before her first birthday
I don't know what she looks like to this to day but my one hope is to see my child again for she is my ray of light
guiding me through hell everyday.
It's been been 635 days since my little girl was taken away
It's been 91 weeks since my heart was smashed to smithereens
It's been 20months since I became a lifeless shell that merely breaths.
It's been 33months since I first found out you were conceived
Since I first said I loved you
Everyday for over a thousand days I have said I loved you
And I will continue to say it everyday until the day I get To say "saskia I love you" to your face.
I counting down the days everyday
You'll be a minimum of 18 the day I see your face again
I have 15 years 10months and 27days
Until my 18 year sentence will hopefully be over
5809 days left.
830weeks
190 months
Until I see my baby girl again
Knowing one day I could see her again fills up this lonely tunnel with a bright light that I'm running towards everyday
Someday she will be mine again
But for now I have hope
While I have hope I have life
While I have life I have dreams to fulfill
I promise you saskia a life I will build to make you proud
I know now there is nothing holding me back
I will soar through the sky and I will flourish and I will remember that it's all because of you that I have a reason to get up and live everyday.
My mum was always my angel and my guide but saskia you now hold the light.
I'll make something of my self and I will wait for the day that I see you again
I look into my eyes and I look past the hollowness of my soul and I still see a ray of light the torch you hold for me
For me you are my reason to breath
The hope that I have of one day meeting you again is my reason to continue trying to find a life
I will live and I will live for you