Regret Behind My Eyes. Poem by Bruce Gashirabake

Every time I close my eyes that smile I see,
Kissing that perfect face is what today might be.
How it ended I still rewind in my head,
And end up crying on my pillow in my bed.
How we looked happy on that blessed Thursday,
When in summer wear we beheld that bay,
Unconcerned by the cold we were,
Not even the Lovers' Bay opposite came to par.
It was us and has always been,
And now with a broken heart I am in ruin.
I still recap Doomsday in my mind,
And do I not realize how life is unkind?
How something as beautiful as what we had died I wonder,
When the thought strikes, life's cruelty I always ponder.

Whenever I roll in bed, your Burberry London perfume do I smell,
Your fragrant smell always left me with nothing to tell,
I always loved your slender arms wrapped around my neck,
Because I was complete with nothing needed to take.
Do I regret what happened to us?
Do what ifs linger in my head on end for days?
What happened at Ripple Creek I regret,
I did wrong by you and my explanations then were vague.
I remember walking all enthusiastic in that bar,
Nothing but your pending arrival was to me a star.
The first shot of Bacardi was the nicest,
When I knew that celebration was at my soul's behest.
Down my throat alcohol kept trickling,
And in no time, stranded I was not thinking.

I remember her from that night,
She must have thought of my loneliness as a delight,
And because of that, since that day do I curse her presence,
And with utter contempt condemn my silence.
Her hands on my thighs I did not feel,
And soon as conscience dawned on my will,
You entered and wrapped around your neck was your fluffy red scarf.
To you no words could untell what you had seen by yourself.
No eyes of yours could unsee what laughters from us you could hear,
Therefore, but a single conclusion did you have a choice to hold dear.
Irrational have I always been because I made fun of you,
In my defense then, I made you feel foolish for your view,
And other than my deceit do I regret making you feel that way,
Because hurting you was my biggest mistake, If I can say.