Retrograding Memories Poem by Mycho Jamil

My eyes feel heavy
My body feels like it ran for thousands of miles
My soul feels so empty. Is this normal?
Or do I just need some sleep?
If I do, would these feelings fade?
But it's pointless to sleep if it's your soul that's tired.

This stirring pain overcoming my heart,
The unfathomable heaviness in my chest
The void inside, filled with memories
Memories that seem to retrograde
They were the things we both made
Now they're knives piercing from within

Love, love, love
Where art thou?
'Cause I need you right now
You can be the tourniquet
Of this bruised and scarred heart
Take it with you as you leave

Take it, I don't need it
I don't need the pain it gives
To feel that pain means to scream,
To breakdown, to cry, to shout
I don't need all that, no
But I guess this is how we live

I don't know what to do
I used to expect a lot
But now I'm just hoping;
It was my fault to begin with
And it feels so stupid to smile
Over all these painful memories

It resonates as it softly speaks of it,
It reverberates through the chambers,
The chambers of this broken heart
I remember that you said you love me (Do you?)
I remember that you said you value our time together (Do you?)
I remember that you said you miss me when we're apart (Do you?)

I hope those lies aren't lies.