Running From The Good Things In Life Cuz They Do Come To An End Poem by mona martinez

when it comes to finding love,
i feel so out of my element,
i had good parents that were good models,
but i feel like the events,
in my childhood,
makes it just that much more confusing,
it makes it harder to trust,
or to give the part part of me some guys deserve,
my mind stays protected,
behind walls,
it's easy to get to my body,
it what was easy,
but getting into my mind,
is like cracking a safe,
say too much of the right things,
you not getting in,
say the right thing from the heart,
you will get to know more of me,
it how i learned to be,
and hard to reverse,
it used to be use my body,
hide my smarts,
how do i go to showing my smarts,
and respecting my body,
not as easy as i once thought,
i run from ppl who are safe,
cuz to me it's boring,
slow was never in my vocab,
i love the rush i get,
being this girl with no attachment,
it's a battle i continue to fight,
be with a guy that has the quailies i like,
and can show me i'm more than that,
or please guys like i known all of my life,
to get that rush of feeling alive,
i'm a person that feels dead inside,
things were taken from me,
that i will never get back,
that why having nothing in my life,
feels more conforting,
than having that one good thing in life,
cuz evenually,
all good things come to an end,
why continue the pain,
of holding on and trying to make it work?