Satnav For Beginners Poem by Paul Reed

Satnav For Beginners



'In 300 yards turn left' she said
I wasn't used to being led
But I wanted to keep on the right track
I trusted SatNav to get me there and back

All went very well at first
Followed her instructions, developed a thirst
So stopped off at a cafe for a drink
And gave myself a little time to think

Did this woman never get tired
Was my own brain no longer required?
Should I drive unquestioningly across the borders
Like a foot soldier following orders

I must have relaxed and complacent I got
And before you could say 'SatNav' I'd overshot
The correct turn-off, now several miles past
I drove on quite alarmed and somewhat aghast

'Take the next exit on the right' she screamed
I thought it should be a left but maybe something I dreamed
The pitch of her voice seemed to be creeping higher
As I rapidly found myself in the mire

Then, in something resembling the RAC rally
I ended up in some god-forsaken back alley
The woman's voice started to break up and churn
As I executed a rather impressive handbrake turn

I headed out of the city and away from the streets
And sped towards the countryside's treats
But the SatNav's fate was finally sealed
As my car ploughed into a farmer's field

It's back to the old-fashioned way to keep sane
Forget the SatNav and use my instinct again
Rely on my own built-in compass, like a lamb to the slaughter
And dump the SatNav in a bucket of water

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