Scoundrel Poem by Gabrielle Ciarann Roniyah Baer

Scoundrel?
Yeah,
I'll admit it,
I like that, like the sound coming off your Royal pout,
that's too small and much too taut
For a scoundrel as far flung as me.

I didn't mean it
meant nothing by this
sudden, lingering,
holding, clinging
kiss

That was too close,
too claustrophobic and
too crushing
for a free spacin pirate like me.

Okay, maybe
I asked for this,
with my teasing around and such
I'm just trying my absolute damndest
to do something I don't think's been done:

To be brief and specific as possible
I mean to wake you
from deep sleep!

I thought I could strike a new spark in you
one you don't seem even to miss
of feeling,
of life,
of being who you are
of giving a damn what you seem.
Do you know what you seem
Gracious Royalness?
Do you feel when you act,
or just act?

From your holy distances
in your Hothian high summer of isolation
Brilliant leaderness
Flirtsome giddiness
Bitter rightouship,
Angry honorness
Do you guess who you
smile-stab, tease-crush?
Guess again, Princess,
it ain't me and my hopes.

I owe a friend we have mutually
to teach you what he taught me
He loves all this glory you're spreading about,
He wants it and you in the deal,
He sees in you worth, love and wonder
He believes in the heart you don't show.

So go ahead, name me a Scoundrel
I've heard worse
and while we're stuck here
I'll turn teacher
start schooling your heart
if its there
and open your eyes
on a dare.

Princess, believe me
its in me to show you
you're wrong
playin 'which do I want? '
And its worth it to me
cos I've started to know
there's a place I belong,
if I'll ask.

I won't tell you
what plans I'm brewing
they're not to your taste or your ken
Just remember
there's nobody owns me
unless I give them free and clear

Now goodnight,
little Princess
I'm weary
pout prettily as you keep watch
I'll work on your lessons
while patching this Lady we ride in
and talk to her sweet
so she'll heal.

written in Nov '80