Searching For Myself Poem by Abby Sze

Searching for myself
Who I really am
When the fear is standing in front
Dampened the fire in my heart
Diving with my eyes wide opened
Reading every sign
When this fear and doubt appear
Telling when my ego is chewing me
The real part of my vision
Constantly lost in the physical madness

The urge from my soul
Calling to write poem or simply get some run
Why do I ignore these calling
And choose to lay back and give up
Allowing the fear to control my act
Disguised as who I really am
That making decision as of hesitation
Acting as of inferior
Waking up as of to face the living hell
Thinking I'm living my truth self

And the truth is far away from me
As I forget to love myself
Unconditionally
Corinthians said love is patient, love is kind
Bashar said unconditional means without any condition
No matter what the circumstance is

Looking deep at my circumstances
The fear of getting hurt
And worries to face disappointment
Repeatedly
I built a wall and a wall to protect the scar from bleeding
That I turned away from my true self
Forgot that I can choose to be enlightened
And be kind and patient
Not only to the world but to ME
No matter what happens