Self discovery in a park
frequented by senior citizens
self discovery in a car where i have driven
to be away from you
try to remember
who i am
try to remember
who i used to be
try to remember who i can be
without you
i used to be somebody
i could have been someone
i want to be somebody
got to be away from you
self discovery on a page
that i have written
self discovery in a rose
self discovery in the smoke
of a hit of rock cocaine
sad eyed lady of the lowlands
she writes poetry
she wants to be free
she dreams of
a different life
away from me
reborn
i am living a virtual life
every day om line
in front of my computer
bathed in the light of the
computer screen
a world of screen names
and passwords- -administrative
and subordinate accounts
a cyber world
that is being created
i am a digital personality
roughly formed
to live in it
online every day
i log in multiple hours
serene motionless static
almost catatonic
i exist as data – multiple keystrokes and code
hypertext markup
in my house there is
neither pen nor pencil
for recreation i play
a computer game
when i look back
i can see only your face
when i look forward i
see you there with me
in the morning i must plot my escape
in the evening i must get away
mid life crisis closing in
it gets closer every day
gets more dangerous with every curve
bad angel heading my direction
there is no sign of the good angel
the demon subduer is
only an elf
an imp concealed on a shelf
for the world to control
house of cards
we are living in
captured in a jar
in a glass in a hospital
in a room full of roses
and i am not alone
no longer think of myself as i
think of myself only as we
because i am no longer here
i do not exist
once we were two—
the two become one
because love exists
we unite
become the same person
now we think the same thoughts
finish eachother’s sentences
with the unity comes assimilation
the new person takes part of my soul
the part i need to continue
the part i need to combine
the new soul carries on
leaving me unable to complete
only
i wish i could be alive
but i am never without you
till death do us part
i think i will die
today
there is a rose
she lives in these urban hills
where she reproduces
she procreates others like herself
she passes down a way of life
based on herself
a value system
for others to revere and emulate
caught in the mirror
no longer a search light soul
the love exists
it is too strong
blinded by the light
love bliss fusion
two souls become one
i wander in a trance
a double star
one nucleus
the other revolves around it
i can’t get out of this room
there is no way out
there is no
escape
there can only be
acceptance
surrender
and death
we two are one
open fire two guitars
she is too strong to confront
i would not survive
i can still run
i turn the key in the ignition
the car shudders to life
i ease into the traffic
i will go as far as i can
as fast as i can
i am running for my life
i turn the cell phone off
i head away from downtown
on the freeway i gather speed
blending with the traffic
heading toward the beach
street signs mark the exits
now coming to the outskirts
of the city
abruptly i turn inland
away from civilization
up a mountain cliff
as i gain elevation
my headlights penetrate
the hairpin turns
near the summit i gaze
out across the city lights
if i die today she would probably have
a state funeral for me
she would honor me
with testimonials and
multiple gun salutes
she will attribute me
with making it possible
for her to love
she will know i’ve gone
to a better place
but i still live on
inside of her
in her memory
i have gone as far as i can
when she finds me
and she will find me
she will find the car abandoned
self discovery DOA.....................
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem