She Needed And Secretly Desired Poem by Tony Kavuoti

She needed and secretly desired

A man she could control and destroy the way a man abused and destroyed her innocence while activating her desires through twisted avenues of pleasure, of ecstasy, of sex, of a shame that could not be part of her identity but needed a victim to perpetrate so she could keep her own childhood pain out of her own mind.


Even more, this was further compounded by what she secretly deeply desired, to be close to a woman emotionally and physically to make up for her cold, distanced, emotional blind and cut off mother whose lack of empathy could only be match by her dissociation.    
 
 
Her attempts to attain love, understanding, and emotional protection were doomed to be frustrated. Sexually acting out overly or covertly became her only outlet and this too she repress and distorted behind the cloak of religious adherence.