Silence Poem by Eric Bradshaw

The silence of my own thoughts deafens me.
Its so loud it blocks my music from showing
No silence, No outside sounds penetrates.
Just the river in my head. no stopping it.. Flowing naturally

I sit, I meditate, listening to the surroundings
The ocean sound as this vessel cuts through the water
The wind on my naked head, cooling, refreshing.
Still my mind is flooded... Doubts? Worries?

My muse, she is singing to me. SO soft, So inspirational.
Her words, can't quite make out what she is saying
Is she really my muse? or my distraction?
Whats really in front of me? A wall.... Obstetrical...

The silence is deafening... Never understood the phrase.
So loud... So much... Can't process it...
What are these feelings? Where is that music coming from?
i hear her, still can't see her... I see my future, its finally unraveling

The river continues to flow... destructive... defeating...
It does not stop for anyone. Strong.... Creating its own path.
My river stopped flowing? Is the the end of the line?
No, Its my fork in the road... There is no path, both paths not taken.

I'm Drowning.. Over flowing... Fighting my way to the top.
Have to make a decision: Left, Right, Stop... Go... Red... Blue
No sense... Don't even know the question. Just have all the answers
Not the right ones... Or are they all the ones i need....

The silence... All so quiet... Yet so loud.
Can't Stop... Can't Run... Have to work through it.
It defeats me.. Confuses me. Pressures me..
But when its gone: i long for it, Yearn for it.... Sometimes weep...

Somethings missing, can't remember... But i know i need it.
So complicated, yet so elegantly simple.
The river flows, With no thoughts.... no worries....
My mind the river.. I'm silent... No stopping it... I'm truly Alive...