Six Years Of Darkness Poem by benny barnuevo

-Darkness
6 years struggling in the abyss of darkness.
Sleepless night laying down on the bed middle in the ocean.
Surrounding by walls, that might look like my own fortress.
Laying down on a hard surface with no motion.

What kind of life has this become?
Being ingulfed by thousand emotions.
A body that doesn't care and becomes numb.
A skin with thousand scars that looks broken.

An unexpected life that I despite.
Where it all began in the mind.
This change of life is where I began to write.
Writing about darkness, it feels like I'm blind.

Guilt-ridden all I can offer is for you to worry.
Frightened that I won't unbuckle my sword.
I don't know if I should be sorry.
But I know I won't leave without a word.

Two years I've been locked in a castle.
Full of people where I can relate.
I've always been for the nurses a hassle.
I thought this life has been my fate.

-the end
The end is nearing where I can see the real world.
But I'm frightened of the light that emits by the sun.
This is the first in years where I have to individually hold.
Living the life where life held me hostage with a gun.

I'm scared I'm frightened!
What should I do without this castle I've lived?
I should overdose and I won't be frightened.
This is the answer from the beginning where I have strived.

*Gulp* *Gulp*

It's been minutes but it felt like decades.
I regret what I have done.
A guilt feeling stabs me like blades.
I should seek help, so I won't be gone.

Heroes of my life called the ambulance.
I've been taken to the unit where they intensely care.
Activated charcoal, fluids, meds and time where I can reanalyse.
I must apologise to the one who cares, oh this guilt I must bear.

I still live I should apologise for the one I have hurt.
This is the reason I'm such a hassle for everyone.
They forgave, they showed love, I'm not thrown in the dirt.
This love they have showed me should be to anyone.
 
-a year
A year has been passed with no attempt.
An achievement I should preserve.
For thou I wish to be deceased as I reflect.
Although life isn't so bad as I observe.

Willing to fight for life and death.
The tendency for the bad is something real.
I should strive for a life with good health.
A life that should slowly heal.

A life outside the castle has a comfortable feel.
The sun outside the castle is not out of reach.
But a life without darkness doesn't seem real.
For the time being, I'll lay down in this beach.