Sombre, Weeping Rife... Poem by Naila Rais
Sombre, Weeping Rife...
Sick, thin walking with stick,
Nothing to eat, thrown vittles she lick,
Stomach inside, the soul cries,
Crossing the roads, balance she tries,
Tears in her eyes, sombre lies,
Begging for belly, her heart shies...
She falls a several times,
But no one came on time...
Trying to crawl with a curvy bone,
Once, she also runs, that's all too gone,
Years ago she was a don,
But now she resides, outside the lawn,
On the footpath or under a tree,
Wherever she go, her life is free...
Nothing to think of she,
Long lasting pain she bears in knee...
Munching a apple half rotten,
About she, her child forgotten,
Lying in the dirt, she cries,
Dying for love and happiness she tries,
Thrown out of her own home,
Now, lonely she roam...
Rag, untidy clothes she wear,
No one to help her, as no dear...
Then came a traveler or a immortal,
Who took she, to her own hotel,
She gave food, she gave her love,
With the happiness, clothes she served,
The she sang the song for her,
The heart touching music that I never heard...
She turned my life,
From darkness to light...
May almighty bless you,
And make your future bright,
To make you always shine,
As on your face, smile always line,
Never you feel alone, are blessings mine,
Don't be sad, Yah I am all FINE...
p.s. (ha ha) i don't think " Rife/rife" is in the body of the poem. That's ok, but i'd overlooked that. i think Naila is using this definition of " rife" : " adverb adverb: rife in an unchecked or widespread manner." So, i guess someone was doing a 'heck' of a lot of crying/weeping! ! No, she did NOT mean to type " Sombre, Weeping Rice" ...i don't think. bri :)
8 – Still stanza 9: exclamation: yeah/yeh: nonstandard spelling of yes, representing a pronunciation." I'M ALMOST DONE HERE! ! Naila (i misspelled as " Nails" at first try!) i believe will only be improving her already very good English skills as she keeps on moving in the world of poetry/writing. I understand what she is saying, which i wish i could do with all poems! ! There are some 'minor problem areas' she can work on. to MyPoemList bri :)
7 – Still stanza 9: I think i would break the stanza into two sentences, the 2nd like this: " And never feel alone; these are blessings, mine. Don't be sad, Yah I am all FINE.." BUT i think you mean, not " Yah" , but...." Yeah" or " Yeh" . *** *** " exclamation • noun informal
5 – Unlike Poet Poet, in one of her comments, I DO BELIEVE that ‘teaching’ should be/is allowed in poem comments. I do it in order to be helpful to both the author(s) and her/his readers. Some poets don’t like me “suggesting/critiquing”. If they tell me that I can NOT DO it. ;)
6- stanza 9: generally, if one refers to God, i think one would use " the Almighty/Almighty" i'd type " smiles" always line ...or just " smiles line" , as you already mentioned " always" once. nice way of putting it.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 7:20:04 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Your poem reminded me, 036.068 If We grant long life to any, We cause him to be reversed in nature: Will they not then understand? Sura Yasin. A fantastic poem on old age.10++++
Thank you sir.....for ur views... Naila