Songs Of Leaving Poem by Raj Arumugam

Stop there, friend
you who have packed your belongings
and so quietly, almost with stealth
and tell me where you are off to.


I'm moving, dear friend,
as anyone would when the time comes.


But you would leave your friends?


Some leavings, in a way, are like death,
my dear friend,
and one has no choice.
Truly, not all
goings and comings
the ins and outs
meetings and departures
are within our control;
some are outside our wills.



(ii)

Dear brother,
sit a while
and talk to me.
Is it right what you do,
to go away from your brothers and sisters?


There is the rare occasion,
dear sister,
when the wrong is right.
Your brother must go that way now.


And the love, dear brother,
the love that binds brothers and sisters?
What of that?
That love,
dear sister,
that love
will let me go.




(iii)

So is it come to this,
dear neighbor,
that you will leave us all and go?
We are not good enough for you, eh?



Perhaps,
my good neighbor,
it is I who's not good enough for you all
for I've made all our
communication
frigid
because of my reticence
my unwillingness
my abruptness
my awkwardness
my lack of confidence
my withdrawals
my silences


I think of the many occasions
when what I've said made no sense
and many turned away
as people said
It is so
because
he does not know
how to say what he wants to say.
It's my fault,
good neighbor,
and I must go
somewhere
where even the inapt will find a place
because of its immense space.



(iv)

I kiss your feet,
dearest mother;
I prostrate before you,
dearest father;
forgive me and let me go
for it is my time
to cross the Ocean of Pain.





(v)

You are not filled
with bitterness,
are you?


Departure
Of adopted children
who are grown and learn,
dear stranger,
of their natural parents,
some must stay on;
and some must return;
and some must move on
and so I did.





(from The Migrant - notes of a newcomer (February 1997- July 1998))