Specters of Christmas
The city is silent on Christmas eve
all the people are gone now
exiting from the winding roads of the sleepless town
behind closed doors figures move in joyful reverence
casting shadows on the windows as I drive by
unable to reach my family
and with none of my own
I am alone
as I have often been this time of year
I was sentenced by a nameless judge to a former life
of a ungrateful child and a the horrors of my former wife
time marched on
and I began to hate all those dam Christmas songs
I drove on
and the winds began to howl like a mourning wolf
as the luster of hanging moon
became clouded by the floating flakes of falling snow
the air hissed like a venomous serpent
seeking to penetrate the windows of my vehicle
and strike me with is insidious sting
the radio plays as more joyful tidings are expressed
and random voices begin to sing
such a blessed thing for some
but to others like me who traveled the lonely road
these words leave me numb
images dance before my fleeting sight
like flashes of the camera of my mind
the ghosts of Christmas past
the people who I have loved and lost
those who truly mattered
seem to bring a bit of warmth to my icy soul
like puffs of a breath upon the winter frost
am I lost?
or has my directions already be designed
somewhere in the depths of a map makers mind
perhaps I have fallen too far
still seeking that path beneath the North star
to show me my way home
there in the empty house I sit in the dark
hearing the steady beat of my thumping heart
and almost feel the wet trickle of tear slide down my cheek
and then I begin to speak
what I am thankful for
grateful in my knowledge that I have survived
that I have thrived
that I am still alive
and perhaps
just perhaps
this is my holiday treat
my divine gift
my Christmas miracle
that I will press on and weather the coming storm
I look out of the sliding door of my living room
seeing festive outlines in the lights of the other homes
so vividly lit like the lights that adorn their roofs and doors
as voices of the past whisper words of faith in my ear
I close the blinds and turn of the lights
and lay down in the rivers of my own thoughts
and drift away into the ether of my consciousness
sometime I wonder
if this is really the most wonderful time of the year
it must be
for my words still come to me
and I still seek the one
and last but most important of all
I am still here
residing in the companionship of the kindred entity
and resting with the unseen company
of the specters of Christmas.
Thoughts of a Single Man 2012 tm
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Christmas of a single man! different kind of a christmas poem it is, sad and expressive...the radio plays as more joyful tidings are expressed and random voices begin to sing such a blessed thing for some but to others like me who traveled the lonely road these words leave me numb...