Spell. Poem by Eman Awad

Just seeing you,
and knowing that you aren't mine.
Kills me every day,
killing me all the time.
I just scream and reel,
spinning and spinning around in a whirl.
How couldn't you feel?
why am i not your girl?
It hurts so much and i can't cry,
i pretend, getting torn inside.
I smile but i know i die,
and i can't get you out of my mind.
I have been through enough,
and i thought you would share my life.
I thought that you are love,
and a reward for my strife.
I wish to let go of this pain,
i wish to forget and forgive.
But whenever they say your name,
i realise that no more i'll live.
I wish to cry and scream,
and that pain is dead.
I wish for all of that to be a dream,
i wish to simply be in bed.
But it's not a dream it's reality,
and i'm not asleep, i'm in front of you.
It's not fine, i'm losing my sanity,
and i wish for the day to be through.
I wish to go back into your arms,
where i really belong.
I wish to fly again among stars,
and be happy all along.
Please god, i need some help,
i need to get over him.
He is for some one else,
and i need to let go of them.
But i can't, i really can't,
i'm in love still.
I can't let this slip out of my hand,
i'm under his spell .
A spell that once promised me moon,
and promised me universe.
A spell that promised me to bloom,
and promised me mirth.
A spell that imprisoned me in a room,
that later i'll know it's my hearse...