Stored In The Heart Poem by David Lewis Paget

Stored In The Heart



I had no idea of who she was,
But knew she appealed to me,
All that I knew, her name was Roz,
So I wove her history.
Imagination's a marvellous thing
But that doesn't make it real,
I thought I could make the whole thing up
But I only judge by feel.

I had her grow in a miserable home
Where no-one could understand,
A feckless mother and drunken Dad
With no-one to hold her hand.
She'd come to life when she left that home,
Left everything else behind,
And if she wasn't together yet,
Then everyone else was blind.

I loved the way that her hair curled down
To sit at the nape of her neck,
I loved that serious air she had
To hold everyone in check.
I didn't know if she noticed me
She never gave me a look,
Whenever she passed my desk, I sat
And buried my head in a book.

We used the stationery storeroom there,
It was big enough for two,
I walked on in and I locked the door,
Said, ‘I've been looking at you.'
She seemed surprised and had startled eyes
When I drew her close for a kiss,
But she raised her lips and she moved her hips,
So it didn't seem too remiss.

She met me down at the local pub
To discuss the feelings she had,
‘It's not that I didn't enjoy the kiss,
I don't want you feeling bad.
But I have a guy and he's awful shy,
So don't tell what happened today,
Some things are sacred, stored in the heart, '
And then she had walked away.

21 May 2017

Saturday, May 20, 2017
Topic(s) of this poem: romance
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Jefferson Carter 20 May 2017

David, well-told story but your rhyming and rhythm make the poem too sing-songy. This little narrative might be better in free verse, letting you focus more on images and figures of speech and avoid such clumsy lines as So it didn't seem too remiss. If you have time, check out my new website: jeffersoncarterverse.com Tell me how you like it. Yrs, JC

0 0 Reply

I'm totally committed to rhyme and meter Jefferson, because that's what poetry is. I can't stand freeform which is a lazy man's prose. It's the rhythm that hooks the reader in, so no hooks with freeform. Sorry, we'll have to agree to disagree.

0 0
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
David Lewis Paget

David Lewis Paget

Nottingham, England/live in Australia
Close
Error Success