Suddenly Awake Poem by Brian Murphy

I burst out of bed as though I had awoken during surgery
I glanced at my clock only to notice that my sleep had lasted 4 hours
I drank last night, I drank a lot
I always panic after I had been drinking

I was on my bed
My matress a free floating entity
There was no escaping this, no where for me to hide
How does one hide from one’s self

The first wave came crashing in
Gaining momentum
My body freezes up
Fear pulses through every inch of me

Fight it
No, Relax and breathe
Don’t dropp your guard its coming
Just let it run its course

It subsides a bit and begins to fade
Don’t move, don’t think, whatever your doing its working
A thought unintentionally enters my mind
Like dominos, my resistance falls

Cycling and cycling like this
It has been an hour and twenty minutes
How much more can a mind and body take
What if this is the one I never come out of

I am my own fuel, feeding this beast
I lay rigid and stiff as a board
Shaken and bewildered